Is it possible to embark on international travel without money or a passport???

my passport grew legs and walked out of my room. 

my bank cancelled my card because of a "security breach" and somebody eff-ed up over there so there is a chance I won't get a new one until....after I have left the country. 

of course, i can't leave the country without a passport, so...

time to enroll at CU? 

shoot.